Just Look!

The other day I was working on something at the desk while Daniel played with Caleb behind me. Caleb was commissioning Daniel to draw various Cars characters on the Lightning McQueen magnetic sketch pad (the next generation of the old Etch-a-Sketch). Daniel could hardly finish one picture before Caleb swept it away with the magic eraser bar and placed his order for the next one. As Caleb was about to swipe away McQueen himself. I heard Daniel exclaim, "Just look at it first!"

My ears pricked up. Poor Daniel. He had worked hard on his Lightning McQueen, even to the point of fake headlights and detailing. It was all lost on Caleb who was already planning Mater and Sally and Flo and Ramone and Red and Lizzy and Doc and....

I stifled a chuckle at Daniel's dilemma, but was suddenly reminded of a conversation I had recently. A friend was talking about how much fun they have traveling and doing things with their older children. I was green with envy. The few activities that I can edge in between naps and meals and bedtime are almost always plagued by whining, potty accidents, fatigue, hunger, bickering, or downright resistance. (Usually from the boys.) Most days I just stay home and maintain routine for the sake of sanity and simplicity. As my friend was describing walking tours in England and a planned backpacking trip through Europe, I found myself longing for our boys to be older--more mature and less needy. I started having visions of camping and biking trips, deep conversations about something other than Blues Clues or Barney, visits to museums, cross-country road trips, and junkets to explore all the fascinating places in Southeast Asia.

As I recalled this conversation and my subsequent discontent, I couldn't help but replay Daniel's words. "Just look!"

How often does God want to take me by the shoulders and say that same thing. Just look. Take time to see what I've made for you before you swipe it away and move on to the next thing. It's for you. Enjoy it. At least pause and look at it.

Coincidentally (or providentially), I read this prayer this morning in The Valley of Vision, "...thou hast of thy pleasure created life, and communicated happiness; thou hast made me what I am, and given me what I have; in thee I live and move and have my being; thy providence has set the bounds of my habitation, and wisely administers all my affairs. I thank thee for thy riches to me..."

Train my heart toward gratefulness, Father. Help me not to tolerate the antics of my children, but to pause and enjoy all the things that will be lost when their childhood has passed. Make me content with the blessings and challenges of this stage even while I look forward to watching my boys grow and learn and change. Help me to look--to stop and see that you are good.

The Whining Chair

I designated a chair in our basement/playroom as the whining chair this morning since whining has been a theme this week. Caleb spent the better part of the morning sitting there. After his last exodus from the chair he started complaining yet again. I said to him, "Caleb, if you want to whine you have to do it in the chair," thinking, of course, that this would stem the complaints. Instead, he gathered a couple toys, clambered into the chair and whined softly to himself while driving his motorbike up and over the chair back. Maybe we all need a whining chair now and then.

Interesting News Piece on Vietnam

Click here for an interesting news piece on Vietnam. A friend sent us this clip several weeks ago and I am just now getting around to watching it. Believe it or not, the footage of traffic and flooding made me a little "homesick" for Ho Chi Minh City.

The Pusher

We just got back from Michigan where we celebrated my grandma's 75th birthday. We also had a chance to see many of you at the "homecoming" open house my parents hosted. It's always good to catch up. Thank you to everyone who came.

I borrowed a book from my mom and started reading it this morning while Caleb slept and Nathan lay on our bed with his thumb in his mouth watching a Baby Einstein video. It isn't really a book book. It's more like a devotional. It's a collection of Puritan prayers called The Valley of Vision. This morning I read a prayer addressed to the Trinity. The following caught my attention:

O Holy Spirit, I thank thee that in fullness of grace thou hast exhibited Jesus as my salvation, implanted faith within me, subdued my stubborn heart, made me one with him for ever...thou art willing to help my infirmities, to show me my need, to supply words, to pray within me, to strengthen me that I faint not in supplication.

Maybe I was not properly pensive this morning, but this made me chuckle. A story immediately flashed to mind. I spent a year teaching at a school near Beijing, China before I graduated from college. Food and housing were provided by the school as well as transportation once each week into the city and a small (VERY small) stipend for other expenses. I learned early on that there were certain things that my budget couldn't cover--like taxis. To accommodate, my roommate and I figured out how to use the bus system.

It is difficult to describe a Chinese bus (circa 1998) for anyone who has not lived overseas. Imagine a metal box with worn tires and black exhaust. Now fill the box with so many bodies that seated passengers are forced to lean out from open windows and those standing jockey for breathing space. Buses such as these require three staff--a driver, a caller (who shouts from a window to attract passengers and to warn off other motorists), and a pusher on the ground. The pusher has the most strenuous job. It's his duty to ensure that every willing passenger (and an occasional passerby) are wedged, crammed, shoved, shimmied, and otherwise helped onto the bus. His job is made doubly difficult by safety standards which won't allow the bus to move if the doors are not properly closed.

A fellow American teacher was waiting patiently at a bus stop for just such a bus. When the contraption pulled up to the stop already bursting at the joints, she balked and said she would wait for the next one. The pusher would have none of it. He grunted and led her by the elbow to the step which was the only space left. She stood as far inside as she could get. Unfortunately, the pusher miscalculated. American derrieres are not as compact as their Chinese counterparts and the safety doors could not close. The driver furiously kept pressing the lever and the doors opened and closed again and again on the same obstruction. My friend made a valiant attempt to flee, but before she could maneuver she felt two hands firmly planted on her bottom. The pusher gave it his best and finally the doors wheezed shut.

This was the image that came to mind when I read Puritan prayers this morning. I must say that I'm thankful the Holy Spirit is just as determined as that Chinese bus pusher. There are days when I need a good shove from behind--a little help to get on the bus.

Up and Running

Phew! Our shipment arrived from Vietnam and (several new parts later) Daniel finally has my computer back up and running. Now I have no excuse for neglecting to write except, of course, a grassy lawn, sunny days, and two little boys.

I thought I would include some pictures below of our new home. We feel so blessed to be living here. Our unit is part of a complex that is reserved for missionaries temporarily living back in the States. When we arrived, it was fully furnished and decorated. There were dishes in the cabinets and a few staples in the refrigerator. The couple who take care of our unit and function as landlords even found a fun cowboy quilt for Caleb's bed. It was a nice touch especially given his latest Toy Story phase (for a while he dragged his Buzz and Woody dolls everywhere). I didn't get pictures of the boy's room because they were napping, but here is the rest of the house.

Front entrance/Living room

Kitchen/Dining room

Basement/Family Room
(This was before all of the boys' toys arrived. Imagine a LOT more clutter.)

Our Bedroom

There is one extra bedroom and the room that the boys are sharing. There is also a laundry/storage room in the basement, but I can't imagine you would find that very interesting. As always, our home is open to friends passing through. We would love to have you visit.

Off the Road Again

Hello again. It's been six weeks since my last blog post. I hope I haven't lost some of you in the long silence. I've been so busy packing boxes and suitcases, shipping some belongings, storing others, clearing out our house in Vietnam, flying to the United States, staying with family in California then with family in Michigan, moving into our new home in Wheaton, unpacking, and getting the boys settled into a new routine that I haven't even thought about blogging (or Facebook or even e-mail). Now, I am back online and eager to sweep the dust off my blog.

We loved seeing our families and had fun watching the boys get to know their grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins. Caleb is convinced now that ever new kid he meets is a cousin. (You'd think we were from Kentucky or something.) Just this afternoon we took a walk to a neighborhood playground and then around the Wheaton College campus. Along the way Caleb saw several clusters of kids and insisted that they were all family. I suppose he will get things straightened out eventually.

It's been fascinating to watch the boys take in so many new experiences. When we stepped out of the San Francisco airport into the parking garage, Caleb tugged my arm and said with wide eyes "Look, Mom, a car store!" We had to instruct him not to take his shoes off at the door going into church and not to strip down to his underpants to eat spaghetti. (We were a little lax about clothing living in the tropics.) Nathan loves riding in his carseat (for which we are very thankful!). He watches out the window and shouts "Uck! Uck!" every time we pass a pickup or an SUV or semi-truck or minivan or camper or car or motorbike. It's nice when he nods off.

After all the hours spent in the air or on the road, we are relieved to be in our new home. Well, at least three of us are relieved. Caleb is more reluctant. I think he may actually hate change even more than I do. Our first night here he cried and clung to me saying, "This isn't our home. I want to go HOME to Vietnam." He misses his bed with animal sheets (which are currently somewhere in the port of Los Angeles) and was only partly consoled by the cowboy bed a friend had prepared here. I'm hoping that the many perks of living back in the States (playgrounds, a library, green grass and trees, cooler weather, ice cream, popsicles by the box) will soon sweeten the deal and make this new home more acceptable. In the meantime, I'm praying for patience.

Enough for now. I will write again soon. It was good to see many of you over these past few weeks. We will surely keep in touch.

Blessings, Heather

Inertia

In Vietnam we get around by motorbike or by taxi. Nathan has never been buckled into a carseat, and Caleb hasn't experienced that pleasure since we visited the States when he was eighteen months old. The boys typically just sit on our laps while we brace for the madness that is Saigon traffic. I should probably add that with Nathan "sitting" is a loose concept. It usually involves Daniel and I taking turns wrestling him into some half-bent position while he lunges for the window buttons or blows zerbers on the back of the vinyl seat. Caleb used to be just as bad, but he's mellowed some with age.

It's standard to drive by the "gun it and brake" method here, so we're used to a bit of jolting and lurching whenever we're in a taxi. Last Sunday morning, Caleb took a very minor tumble. He scooted back on the seat complaining that the car was pushing him around.

"That's inertia." I explained feeling rather proud of myself. Daniel raised an eyebrow and I didn't confess that I'd been channel surfing recently and landed on a Discovery Channel episode about the mechanics of the seatbelt. Let him think he married up.

I explained to Caleb that when something is still it wants to stay still and when something is moving it wants to stay moving--very much like a little boy I know. Caleb was quiet for a moment.

"Mom," he said, "I don't like inertia. Can you just turn it off."

Hmmm, wouldn't that be the long sought solution to life's many stresses! I laugh about Caleb liking to stay put when put and to go when going, but I am equally controlled by inertia. The apple rolled down the tree trunk and nestled against the roots with this one. Neither of us like change. We ignore it, we complain about it, we resist it...then it happens. Always, it happens. In the end we gain momentum in another direction and forget all about our complaints and resistance and downright orneriness.

Oh, my sweet, stubborn boy! I don't believe we're going to flip the switch on inertia anytime soon. Maybe we should just try rolling with it.